it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
