I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
