her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
