Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
