you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
