Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
