just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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