she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
