the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
