dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
