oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize