i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
its liver damage thursday
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
