I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We don't watch enough power rangers
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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