Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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