Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
