Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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