im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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