it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
