i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
