She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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