I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
My feet surprised me
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
