i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Randomize
