after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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