I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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