Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
