halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She even gives head with a lisp.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
