I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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