Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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