remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
