bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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