we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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