we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
