Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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