I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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