I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
She has the best kind of daddy issues
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
