smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
