there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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