She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
