No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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