It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
