I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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