i was rollin on her like bob the builder
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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