why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
