i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
