i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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