Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
