Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
