it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
