And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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