The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize