the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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