That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
