My first STD was from a foam party
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
