Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
