The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize