i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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