I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
