Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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