i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
