the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
